Empty apology

Ain't the Christian idea of forgiveness great! It truly is a spiritual gift; a gift that continually saves the evangelistic arse of Pat Robertson. Evangelism is supposed to be the preaching of the Christian Gospel, but his approach seems to demonically twisted and it scares the hell out of me if that is a representation of Christianity goodness.

Pat Robertson is easily recognised because he has to hop around on one foot, since the other is continually wedged in his mouth. His latest outburst claimed that Israeli leader Ariel Sharon's stroke was divine retribution for leaving the Gaza Strip and this left his bodyguard nervously twitching.

There was no need for them to worry because Pat suddenly realised his remarks were "inappropriate and insensitive" and may cause him to lose a $50m contract with Israel. Naturally, one of these motives led him to pen a grovelling apology letter to Sharon's son probably explaining what sort of 76-year-old mindless jackass doesn't realise these comments are offensive.

On the other hand, he must be a mindless jackass if he was making yet another public apology after only 140-odd days. Back in August 2005, ole Pat was drawing on that Book of the Bible that calls for US Special Forces to kill Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. I'm not sure which of the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke or John, inspired his comments, "We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability."

Hallelujah! God be praised that this mindless jackass has his own television show, The 700 Club, on which he can make suggestions, such as the explosion of a nuclear weapon at State Department Headquarters would be good for the country and "If you look over the course of a hundred years, I think the gradual erosion of the consensus that's held our country together is probably more serious than a few bearded terrorists who fly into buildings."

One man muttering these things on the street is considered strange, but give him a TV show and he becomes Network's Howard Beale. In his letter to Sharon's son, he wrote:

"My concern for the future safety of your nation led me to make remarks which I can now view in retrospect as inappropriate and insensitive in light of a national grief experienced because of your father's illness…I ask your forgiveness and the forgiveness of the people of Israel."

Personally, I'd tell the old mindless jackass to go shove his apology and Bible where God's sun don't shine.