Address the blanks

Address books are a reflection of our lives. They carry the social and business contacts that are important to us, plus they can show our personality. For example, if it is neat, up-to-date, phone and fax numbers are included then you are probably an organised individual, while those who don't even own one are either lazy or just have a photographic memory.

The power of the address book hit me recently as I decided to update its pages. As I flicked through the pages from A to Z, I saw the names of friends that have not been in my life for many years. It is a hard decision to completely erase them from your life and open up a new space to be filled eventually. Over time, your address book is filled with the true friends, the ones that will drive you to the airport for your 5am flight and will help you move house.

Choosing to erase somebody is emotionally easier than removing a friend or relative because of death. In recent years, I lost both a friend and a grandma, both were within a matter of weeks, and it took a long time to commit the final act of erasing them from my life forever. In fact, it was not only the address book, but also email and my mobile phone from which they eventually vanished.

Today, when I write to my Grandad, it is still a hollow feeling seeing the faint indent of '& Grandma' in the book. I guess this could symbolise that even though they are no longer completely visible there is still a ghost of their presence in your life. On a brighter note, friends get married and relatives have children, so new names are also added, although you have to check if the wife has taken your friend's surname.

The next time you pick up your address book, take a moment to remember all those people who appeared within its pages at one point in your life. Give them a thought, maybe imagine what they are doing now, then forget them again and get on with your life because they didn't contact you either.