Power of the name

"Have you chosen a name yet?" This is the question that every expecting parent hears dozens of times throughout the pregnancy and that is just from the expecting grandparents. Initially, the idea of choosing a suitable name for your child seems simple, you scoff at those who need Baby Name Books and you set to work convincing your other half of the name that you want.

Following countless vetoes and knockbacks you are forced to swallow your earlier scoffs and borrow a few name books from the local library. Every reasonable name that you hear on television, read in a magazine or have suggested to you by enthusiastic friends is considered and added to the growing list. Sadly, each of these is then vetoed by your partner.

Ok, now the baby is born and you still have not agreed upon a decent combination of names and everybody is regularly asking if we have chosen a name yet. The pressure is building at home and that with the stress of a new baby is not helping matters. Following my recent article about naming your pet, I shall see if the same criteria apply to naming your baby. To help narrow the field I shall stick to female names because that's what we need.

Observe your new baby: Following this guideline will result in your baby girl being named after one of the seven dwarfs, such as Sleepy, Grumpy, Happy, Poopy or Sucksonbreasty, but none of these would seem appropriate on her driver's licence in 18-years. I have always felt that your name helps to shape your personality to a degree or you fall into the stereotypes associated with them. Margaret is strong, Tracy is dimwitted, Jane is intelligent, Margot is scatty and Joanna is shy - am I right or stereotyping?

Suitability: Avoiding past girlfriends' names is advisable and will avoid any future awkwardness should you happen to bump into one, especially if they have named their son after you! This criterion also incorporates the necessity of choosing a first name that is a natural fit with your surname, so Sandy Butcher, Ava Butcher and Dee Butcher are all unacceptable.

Be unusual: Due to my wife being Finnish, we discussed the possibility of using a name from her country, but many friends and family are still struggling with Päivi and the Äs and Ös that her language serves up. Unusual can equate to brave with your choice, such as Gwyneth Paltrow and her baby named Apple, while the hippy era can bring inspire choices, like Sky, Destiny, Crystal, Melody, Miracle and Faith, but once again the Butcher surname would not be suitable for any of those.

Human Names: This is obviously continuing a family tradition or honouring a close friend or relative by using their name, with or without permission. One drawback maybe that their ego is carried away and upsets everybody at the christening, so you could always cross genders and change their name to suit, such Paul to Paula. This is beginning to feel more like the route we should take.

Not Too Many Syllables: Once a decision is finally made, you do not want everybody to start shortening it and calling her something else, "We have chosen Annabel!" "Anna, that is a nice name!" You realise that no matter how short a name is there is always somebody who will shorten it. For example, my name is three letters, yet my Dad calls me 'Ace'. Long names should also be avoided because you know how annoying it is to fill in forms when you are older and names such as Chardonnay, Charmaine and Katharine require extra wrist effort.

TV, Sports and Pop Idols: Strangely enough, my parents named me after a footballer and my middle name is after a rock star, so perhaps it is time to follow their example. I guess the days of Britney, Celine and Kylie are over, while Julia, Meg and Angelina made my wife frown and Venus, Ellen and Paula made me grimace.

I guess in the end we will just compromise and call her Ovi!