I Spy K

Knickers can get a man's blood pumping; sadly not to our entire body, but just one particular nether region. Knickers, panties, bloomers or the final obstacle, whatever you call them, are the sexiest material construction.

It doesn't matter if they are part of a lacy lingerie package from Victoria's Secret or the everyday cotton variety, they always demand attention. Girls seem to think that guys are only turned on by the tiny g-strings, which is not true. Our minds are purely focused on the gift within; ask any man what colour his lover's knickers were and the response will be a sheepish grin.

This stems from men never growing up. Kids don't care about the wrapping paper on the present, they just want to tear it open and play with it; men are just the same. As hormonally charged teenagers, we spent hours drooling over the underwear section of mail-order catalogues and not many of us were thinking of placing an order.

Once a guy finds himself in a long-term relationship, the inevitable happens and we find the illusions tumbling down around us. The shock of learning that girls do not wear this sexy underwear everyday and their drawers are not filled with erotica is a bitter disappointment. They complain about how thongs are uncomfortable and slowly chip away at our slutty fantasies.

At the bar, the guys are all sharing stories about past girlfriends who slid off their sexy Ann Summer's panties to reveal a ghastly stain, or while experimenting with knickers with a sexy little zipper they accidentally trapped tender flesh. More beer passes through our livers and more stories spill out, like tugging a girlfriend's tampon string as it snaked over the top of her underwear and then someone admits being caught by his mum trying some on.

Yes, female underwear is snug and I still claim that it was for a bet with my invisible friend, but that is not important. Debates rage in fashion magazines about VPL (visible panty line) and whether it is acceptable or a faux pas. Personally, seeing any type of underwear on display reminds me of a building site - weird I know - but it girls are able to get away with these things more. Could you imagine how sexy a pair of beige Y-fronts hanging over the top of a pair of cords would look?

In the end, they are just another piece of clothing, but WHAT a piece! It is strange that the idea of wet t-shirts arouses but wet knickers are purely for the water sports crowd. If all this talk has left you with your knickers in a twist, then I suggest one course of action…go commando.