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An octogenarian you've become
That's 80 years, as a rule of thumb
Eight long decades of ups and downs
And that's not as easy as it sounds
Born in Scotland, in Auchterarder
Could that be anymore harder?
Norman and Margaret were the folks
Bob and Evelyn shared the jokes
Fairlight and Grassington schooled you well
As did the navy's military personnel
Sent to Skeggy and then the south coast
Then steamed to Ceylon for your first post
Eight-hours a day taking down codes
Listening to the crickets, frogs and toads
Finally demobbed in '46
Let's throw Skipton into the mix
Employed at Masons as a clerk
Margery's suggestion was the start
Someone named Josephine gave you a call
Little you knew of what would befall
50-odd years you were together
Braving both the good and the bad weather
Josie or Mrs Woman to you
Is in our thoughts whatever we do
Back to Skipton and on to Rolls Royce
Would that be your vehicle of choice?
The moving began, as did the offspring
The Muscroft family was in full swing
Sway, New Milton and then Barton-on-Sea
Six children were added to the family tree
Treated them to camping hols in the rain
Your caravan blocking the motorway lane
Whirlwinds and Wellworthy's are in the past
The memories though are unsurpassed
Taught your kids how to drive
"Keep out of the ditch!" you did cry
Stewart Plastics took its toll in the start
Away from the family was the hard part
Moving to Guildford and Dynevor Place
No longer meant an overnight case
Sons left home and daughters were wed
Then the grandchildren crying to be fed
From Job to Callum, Ruth to Kim
There's not enough space to fit them all in
Now in West Moors you take your strolls
Heading out daily on lawn patrol
Gardening and the Telegraph, steaks and bream
You love the soaps on your TV screen
Bertie Bassett and his Allsorts
Golf and cricket are your sports
Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, Ken Dodd and birds
Regularly completing tough crosswords
With the recent arrival of Ruby and Katie
What a great way to celebrate eighty
So pour yourself a large glass of whisky
Because four-score means it is time to get frisky!
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